5 Reasons Why British Men Have an Unfair Advantage at Life

Y’all. I don’t get it. What is it about them? Why do they hold the hearts of American women in the palm of their hands? I feel as though we are powerless, POWERLESS against them. So you know what I have to say about it?

Curse you British men! Curse you!

Let’s discuss the reasons why shall we? Less we enter into the battle unprepared!

1. The accent. THE BLOODY ACCENT.
I fear there is no cure for this. They could be chatting physics and suddenly nothing else matters. As my friend Lena said, everything they say sounds intelligent. I’m sorry friends, but there’s nothing we can do to fight this weapon.

2. Their vocabulary.
Dash it! Daft! You’re having a laugh!

They just say things way cooler.

3. There’s something in the water. Seriously.
Exhibit A: Henry

Exhibit B: Michael

Michael Fassbender

I know he’s technically Irish/German, but CLOSE ENOUGH.

Exhibit C: ALL OF THIS

4. Shakespeare.
This is in their blood, thus they have an arsenal of pretty words and sonnets to woo us away. Again. UNFAIR ADVANTAGE. They can quote it at any time. Or maybe that’s just Tom Hiddleston. Highly possible.

5. Mr. JUST-STOP-IT Darcy.
Darcy and his “I must tell you I love you. Most ardently.” Well you know what Mr. Darcy? Nothing! I’ve got nothing to that perfectly executed line! Actually, I should just blame Ms. Austen. Her and her perfect literary men in her fantastically written novels. Did she not think of future generations and all the havoc these men would wreck on the hearts of American women? Clearly she did not. How terribly rude of her.

I’d toss in Australia and those fellas, but clearly we already have our work cut out for us.

Tell me I’m not alone in this! Are you fans of all things British?

P.S. This picture had me chuckling for about two days straight. English Breakfast all day every day!

Tom Hiddleston


6 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why British Men Have an Unfair Advantage at Life

  1. Renee C. says:

    Says the girl after my own heart! Le sigh, British men are kryptonite to this girl. Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch… don’t get me started! God, why did you have to put an ocean between us? He knew I couldn’t handle the sexy, I guess.

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