(The In Search Of Mr. Darcy Series is a look at the often humorous stories, the lessons and the experiences of a single gal in her 30s who also happens to love Jesus. This can be funny and I’ve learned more than a lesson or two. These are topics and discussions I know I (and my friends) have dealt with (or am still dealing with) as a single lady living life. From funny things I’ve heard, mistakes I’ve made, to the joys of watching my jeans shrink, here’s my story (so far) in this wonderful decade known as the 30s. You can find past entries here!)
But what if I don’t get a shiny ring with diamond?
In college, we went to chapel three times a week. Being a small private Christian University (go Cougars!) we heard all kinds of speakers, preachers, authors and such. One morning, we had a woman speaker (please don’t ask me to remember her name. This was over a decade ago, so chances of this happening are zero) who was single and was doing some awesome things in ministry. I remember her saying she had never gotten married and at age 50+, she had remained a virgin. People started clapping for her commitment to God’s plan, while my first thought was more along the lines of “that kinda sucks, she never got married.” Yet another example of how my spiritual maturity and wisdom at 18 were astounding. (My first email – in college, not you know, age 12 – was also firstname.lastname@example.org, so please feel free to continue to be amazed).
Then came the end of college – I was about to turn 21 and knew, just KNEW, that I’d be married within the next few years, even if I wasn’t part of the ring by spring crew. I was confident my mid-twenties wouldn’t fail me. I also decided to get a new email for resume type stuff (please see above), so I went with my first and middle name as an email. You’d think my main motivation would have been not having to use my last name (Lapeyrolerie), but nope. I didn’t want to have an email address I’d have to change again once I got married and got a new last name. I’m not even remotely kidding and now I’m embarrassed to show my face to the world. (I will say my good friend was close to getting engaged and she had just changed her email, so it was fresh in my mind).
Almost 15 years later no ring or new last name. I can’t help but laugh a little bit (or a lot) at my mentality of those young days, but I want to be honest on this blog because I know I’m not the only single Christian gal out there who has thought about this. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again, there have been times my longing has been real. Has it consumed my every day since college? Not at all, but when it does, it’s annoying, frustrating and a pain. But it’s there. So what do I do?
It takes asking ourselves some hard questions. Am I really okay with never being married? Do I truly believe life will be far more than I could imagine? Do I believe whatever the Lord’s plan is, is much better than what I think it should be?
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20
So what do I say? Live life. Don’t wait for what might be. There’s a world to explore – and not just in the jumping on a plane sense (although that’s one of my favorites). I’ve been there – young and dreaming of the travel adventures my husband and I would have. Ah, the streets of Paris, a safari in Botswana and seeing the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. Do you know how much I would have seen if I waited for a man to come along and join me? My backyard. While it’s a close tie (or not at all) to the beaches of Hawaii, I have loved the adventures around the world I’ve gone on. Traveling may not be your hobby, but there might be something else you’re holding back from experiencing, but don’t wait!
I could write a whole other blog about life and faith lessons I could have only learned as a single person. More than anything, I wouldn’t change those for the world. Yep, its the very not-so-new answer, but seeking Jesus in those times of longing and those times of contentment – that’s what I’ve learned is the most important answer.
So will I ever get a shiny ring? Who knows! But I won’t hold back on the adventures or the path the Lord is leading me on. He is more than enough and that’s absolutely perfect for me!
What about you?