The World of Online Dating Looks a Bit Like This

I recently wanted a friend to try online dating, so in order to help my cause, I said I would join too. I have on and off before, but I promised a concentrated effort this round.

Now, if you’ve been on the fence about online dating, please don’t be scared away by this. I like to find chuckles in every situation, so that’s exactly this. Because no matter what, there’s some funny situations in online dating. Just ask anyone who has dated online.

And in case you don’t believe me when I say don’t fear the online dating, I’ve been to several weddings recently where they met online. Hey girl heyyy!

If you aren’t familiar with online dating, first off there’s approximately 93,000 options and apps to choose from. The ones I have tried require the basic things you’re into, likes, dislikes, etc. and if it’s eharmony, it asks for nine hours of your life for the intro “assessment” (just so you are warned). So things like, how much cash you bring in, drinking, smoking, religion, age range, hobbies, and all of that can or cannot be included.

It really is an interesting world.

So these are some thoughts that may or may not have gone through my head while participating in the world of online dating. Please don’t judge…at least not too much. 😉

1. Profile: Never Drinks.

Jamie: Well, aren’t you just the Pharisee? You never drink huh? Too good for that? Jesus drank wine son!

It takes me a while to remember that there are noble and legitimate reasons for not drinking, but honesty internet. Honesty. That’s always my first thought.

2. Profile: Age 34, Never Married.

Jamie: You’re 34 huh? Why are you still single?? Something must be wrong with you. Oh wait…..I’m almost 34. NEVERMIND! Carry on!

3. Can you please post pictures of you? What do y’all think? This is Facebook? I don’t need to see just your dog or the lion you once saw in Africa. Or you car. Please just stop with that one. Let’s be real. This is about you. So, include yourself in the image. Oh and your face too. No one needs to see the back of you in a group photo 50 feet away.

3.5 Why do men post multiple pictures with different females? Do you have 10 sisters who all look very different or what? (It happens y’all).

4. Sweet Baby Jesus, I know that guy (you know the friend of the friend…). I hope he doesn’t see me.

5. A bathroom selfie? Really? You’re 39. Those aren’t allowed past the age of birth.

6. Dang it, I know that guy too (again with the friend of a friend). This is getting awkward. Block. Block. Block.

7. Why doesn’t the world value grammar and punctuation? Is this too much to ask? COMMAS WORLD. COMMAS.


8. Yikes, he looks like my ex. Nope.

9. Why are you reaching out to me? Your stats say you’re interested in a female who is white, age 22-27 and agnostic. I mean to each his own (although let me tell you bout Jesus!), but not sure if you read my profile or not, but none of those apply to me. At all.

10. Sunglasses in every photo? Bruh.

11. Yep, this is really awkward sometimes (or most), but what’s life without trying something totally uncomfortable right?

So if you were hoping today you’d get some insight about online dating from a girl living in Texas, I’m glad I could help with your hopes and dreams!

Any funny dating (online or otherwise) stories to share? Always a fun conversation!


6 thoughts on “The World of Online Dating Looks a Bit Like This

  1. extraordinaryordinarywhimsy says:

    Ha! These were funny. I met my hubs online back in’04.

    I think a drink pic is OK if it’s a really good picture.
    Bathroom? No!
    Car alone? No.

    I vote: look for someone with outdoorsy pics.

    • jamielynne82 says:

      I can only begin to imagine how much it has changed since then!! I agree – I’m a fan of outdoor pictures and cool stuff like that. I vote to be about adventure! 🙂

  2. Lydia (The Overweight Bookshelf) says:

    Oh my goodness Jamie, so many laughs!!! Sounds vaguely like my first and only foray into online dating. I’m not ready to try it again (no dates were made because of some whack profiles and recognizing someone-DELETE DELETE), but my sister met her boyfriend online. He is a lovely lovely man, so maybe I won’t write it off.

    • jamielynne82 says:

      I so wish we could hang out in person! There’s so many things I know we would talk and laugh about! I won’t write it off either – there always seems to be a new success story when I’m about too. My friends and I decided we’d start up again together in June. Maybe the summer air will bring better things 🙂 🙂

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